this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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