I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize