I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
