discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
