I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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