So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
