So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
