I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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