So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
