He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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