Im at strip club and am horny
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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