if i can run in heels then i can drive
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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