First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize