Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
