you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
