the condom got lost in my hair
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
