Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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