he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
