I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
