so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
