Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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