everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
