the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize