So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
