Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
organizing the empties. That sober.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
