Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize