just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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