My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
