My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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