quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
