God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Girls should come with a carfax report
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
