Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
