Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
