Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just forgot I was standing up.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize