ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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