her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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