This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
