Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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