I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
