who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
