ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
