the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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