idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
