this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
my liver is dry heaving
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
