When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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