We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
