I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
