Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
