stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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