WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
