Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
