WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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