i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
