in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
