So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize