There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
