Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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