I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
