idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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