obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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