drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
