I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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