you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
