What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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