I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
