I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
