Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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