More tranny stories later!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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