Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
