Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
