So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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