I'm drive I can fine osifer
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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