she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
